Girl, go get your nails done!

I wanted to talk about going to the nail salon. I feel like this is something that always makes me feel better, and is a great way to make a long day feel shorter.

The other week, it was a Friday and I wanted to get solar nails again. I decided it was something that was worth spending money on and I walked over to the closest nail salon. I didn’t make an appointment and I only had to wait 10 minutes.

One of the things I love is being able to connect with someone. I talked to the technician about her kids and also about my life. It was so rejuvenating talking about everything with her. I feel like I can tell them my whole life story and they are so fun to talk to. She teased me about getting my nails done just for my boyfriend. We had a few good laughs and I was interested to know about her love life. She was divorced but said she still likes her life and finds enjoyment. That was inspiring to me. Anyway yah it was so great to sit and talk and –

It feels soothing having someone take care of you in any small way. I like nails because it’s not too intrusive like massages can sometimes be but it is still relaxing. I love going and knowing I’m spending that time doing something just for myself.

It’s just such a nice break. Usually, I’m exercising, or reading, or playing games, or watching something. Yet when I get my nails done I’m not using my brain or my body, and I’m just able to bask in the present moment. That’s the main reason I love it so much. Uninterrupted me time. Ahhh. And after you have something to show for it which is the cherry on top.

How to be a good teacher

I think teaching anything has a lot of different aspects and qualities that a person needs to harness.

Kindness and Empathy- I think we need to recognize that learning anything can be daunting and difficult. So the teacher needs to be able to acknowledge how tricky or challenging something can be. The student needs to feel like they are not alone in their suffering when something goes wrong. They need to be encouraged in a gentle and compassionate way so that they have the spirit to keep trying. They need to feel connected to their teacher, not afraid of them. If they like their teacher, then they are much more likely to do well. If a student is bad at something it can be very vulnerable and even embarrassing for them. They need reassurance and kindness in order to keep going.

Patience – Often, it takes many tries to finally grasp something or do it properly, so the teacher needs to be come and recognize that learning takes time. They can’t get frustrated so soon, because then the student will end up feeling bad about themselves. The teacher needs to be able to break things down step by step. They need to be able to stay by the students side and be supportive until they get it right. This means letting them try it for themselves – matter how long that takes – and not just skipping ahead or taking short cut ways to teach it.

Confidence and strength- The teacher has to be fairly confident in what they are teaching, because if they are uncertain how it should be done, this will translate to uncertainty and mistakes by the student. The explanation should be clear and concise, so it is easy for the student to understand what they are supposed to do. The teacher should have a strong understanding of the content so the students feel this confidence and develop it in themselves as well.

Being stern – It’s really important that the teacher is stern, especially when the students are young. Then they will have a good structure and they will know how important it is to listen. If the teacher is not stern, the students will be tempted to act out and not be as diligent with their learning. If the teacher is stern, the students have clear expectations about how they should conduct themselves and will be a lot more productive in the class.

Creativity – I think it’s very important that the teacher presents the content in a unique way, so the students can get excited and feel like they are doing something different every day they are learning. I think the students are much more engaged when there are games or artistic aspects to the lesson, or the teacher simply does something they don’t normally. Even joking around and being funny can be very advantageous for engaging the students. They need to be able to have a good time while they are learning, this will help them develop the skills a lot quicker.

That’s my ideas for a great teacher! Comment below if you have any you would add. 🙂

Love

Love is so all encompassing. There are many forms of love but I’m talking about the romantic form of love.

Getting into a relationship is scary. You don’t know the person at all yet you are starting to let them in on your emotions, and you are becoming vulnerable with them while spending one-on-one time with them. You really don’t have any concrete reasons to trust them, yet somehow you are letting them into your life so soon.

However, even with this skeptical view, I still found myself falling for someone quite quickly. Yes, you may not trust them completely, but it takes the fun out of dating if you are constantly worried that they are not trustworthy, that they will back stab you in some way. So towards the start of me dating my boyfriend, I let myself get swept away. I became a bit delulu and decided to trust him anyway and just let go and have fun with it. I think this attitude is so important for enjoying not only dating, but life in general. You really don’t want to always be worried that something could go wrong. Yes there is that possibility, but it feels way better to be free and think that things could go right, because that is just as likely. And they did go right for me.

I met my boyfriend on bumble. The first time we hung out he came over to watch a movie. (I know, suss). But again, in the name of getting swept away… It was a really bad movie and we didn’t talk much. I was okay with that. I was just not having any expectations. But it was a good opportunity for us to feel out each other’s energy. I’m good at reading people’s energy and his felt very positive.

Then, after our first date, I felt this overwhelming sense of insecurity. I knew I liked him, but what made him like me? I so badly wanted him to ask me on another date. But he didn’t show much interest for about a day and a half and I started to doubt myself. Then I caught myself thinking this way and thought, you know what no, I’m going to feel confident in myself. Sure enough, the cosmic waves felt our energies and wanted to bring us back together. He was really the one that made it happen.

The second time I saw him we went for a late night drive. I was so excited to see him again and he told me he would let me pick the music. It was so much fun and just really made me more attracted to him seeing him drive.

On our third date we went for a walk in fish creek. It was in August and the weather was so romantic. It had just rained and the air felt really misty. We held hands and walked for a long time and it was so scenic and peaceful. I told him all about my summer and he told me a fair few things about himself too. My heart felt like it was bursting and this was the date where I realized I really wanted something serious with him. He made me feel so loved and cared for.

Another date was going to a movie together. I forget which movie we first went to see (it might have been super mario brothers) but I remember just being happy to be with him, and him deciding to go buy us popcorn and a drink. There’s something so bonding about sitting with someone quietly watching a movie. It’s like it doesn’t matter what happened before or after, just that you are together.

Another date we went on a walk downtown where there is a really pretty view of the river and the skyline. There were lots of people out and we even went by all the rich houses and looked and them. Then we sat on a bench and hugged and kissed and just enjoyed each other’s presence. What made me trust him was feeling how invested he was in it too. I could just tell he was really making me a priority and really fully present with me. This made me feel so much more comfortable opening up to him, and way more likely to fall in love with him. I felt exuberant to be honest. The honey-moon phase was in full swing and I was not looking back. I knew that after these few dates he had really put the effort into making me feel special and wanting us both to have a good time.

Another date we went on he came up with the idea to go to a lake that was about an hour away. When we got there it wasn’t very busy and there were a few people fishing and a few families. It was so sunny and this made everything feel so light and easy and happy. The water was so cold. Sometimes it’s the embarrassing things that bond you, too. Like he did a couple of questionable things but we were able to laugh about it and support each other. I wore one of my favorite dresses and after we went for dinner, and it was just such a nice way to spend a Saturday. Sitting driving together was really synergistic as well.

There’s this quote I saw, saying that it’s not about how much time you spend with a person it’s about how much they feed your soul. I feel like from the start, we really fed each other’s soul.

ADHD

I only got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 23. So it was very late in the game. The doctor said that young girls who were very spacey and day dreamy probably have ADHD but that they go undiagnosed. But I still did well in school. You can still be very smart, have a high level of success, and still be diagnosed with ADHD. I’m going to talk about how I deal with the symptoms of my ADHD.

One symptom is lack of motivation. I feel really uninspired sometimes and just like I couldn’t be bothered to do anything. It just feels easier in that moment to do something … well… easier. Because our brains are different and struggle to focus we know it will be hard to stay locked in once we do start an activity. This makes us even less likely to want to do anything in the first place. But two things have helped with this – SMART goals, and thinking about how I will feel after. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time bound. I don’t go too crazy with setting a bunch of goals, I just set one and really stick to it. The fact that I’ve written the goal down makes my brain know okay, I have decided to do this already, so I have to do it now. It really just takes that decision piece out of it. When I envision myself on top of the world after I have done what I wanted to, it makes me so much more motivated to actually do the thing. I know I will feel accomplished, and I love that feeling, so why wouldn’t I want to put myself in that headspace?

Another symptom is lack of focus. This really plagues a lot of us with ADHD. Once we get ourselves to do the thing, it’s hard sticking with it. For this, I just make sure that I’m doing something I like doing. If it’s something I don’t want to study, then I study in a way that is better suited to me. Or if I can choose my activity, then I make sure it’s something newer or more exciting than before. I make sure I’m doing something that really keeps me engaged, and if it’s a book I’m not liking, then I have to switch to something that holds my attention better. The key is to find something you really really like doing. A friend told me a strategy she uses is habit pairing. If you have to do something you don’t like, do it while listening to a new album or if you can, while talking to a friend. Another thing I do is try to find a point of connection. For example when I’m reading, I try to connect it to my own life experiences. I try to find something in the information that speaks to me and to my soul.

Another symptom is impulsiveness. I used to take a lot of risks and spend money frivolously. I think it is something you can grow out of, because I definitely have. I think because our minds come up with so many ideas all at once it’s easy to grab on to one and run with it. I think in order to deal with this, we really need to plan out our days, and have a schedule for ourselves. This occupies our time and makes it harder for us to veer off path. Also, we need to practice slowing down and thinking things through. The more we practice this the easier it will get to resist our impulses.

Another symptom is lack of organization. This is something I still struggle with heavily. I think because I have so many different ideas and hobbies to keep my mind satisfied that my room becomes a bit cluttered. Also the lack of motivation plays into this, and not wanting to do mundane tasks. A way I deal with this is I pick certain times, like in the morning when I have more energy and just pick after myself a little bit. This way, I prevent all hell from breaking loose as far as the messiness goes. If you clean up a little at a time, it stays more organized and it isn’t as daunting of a task so you are more likely to do it.

An advantageous symptom is hyperfocus. This is when you are highly interested in a task or activity so you can keep going longer than someone with a neurotypical brain could. I have experienced this with writing papers, reading, and craft projects. It’s normally a really great head space to be in and I don’t see anything wrong with it, unless you are avoiding some other important task.

Another symptom is restlessness and impatience. It’s easy for people with ADHD to get bored with what they are doing. It’s easy to get impatient with certain activities as well. I think two ways I deal with this is through exercise and parenting myself. Exercise really helps with the restlessness. It makes me feel free and relaxed. I need to excercise everyday. It helps me feel way less restless and much more engaged. As far as the impatience goes, sometimes you just have to coach yourself and say okay, patience is something I’m working on so this is a good opportunity to practice it.

Another symptom is mood shifts. I am very moody and this can be a hard symptom to find a solution to. I try to mitigate it by doing things I like, to put myself in a better mood. It sounds simple but that is really helpful. Yoga really helps with my moods as well, it totally shifts it to a calm, positive perspective. Sometimes I can get really sad all of a sudden, and I found just coming to a place of acceptance of my emotions to be really helpful. Just let it flow.

My favourite weather

What is your favorite type of weather?

My favourite type of weather is when it’s sunny and warm, no cloud in the sky. I love being able to do things in the water and for the sun to go down really late on a day in August. I look forward to the summer a lot because it means I can spend time outside and do things like longboarding, swimming, walking, going out to eat, wearing dresses, etc. so I really can’t wait until the weather warms up. Usually it warms up around my birthday so that’s always a really exciting time for me.

What do you wish you could do more every day?

I don’t have a full time job so I have most all weekdays off. So there’s nothing I really wish I could do more of because I have an abundance of time to do what I want to do. Lately my favourite things to do are painting, reading, playing on my switch, crocheting and  exercising. I think maybe one thing would be to do more yoga since I’ve been neglecting that. I love yoga and it would be so easy to just do a 20 minute flow here and there.

An exciting trip – Ko Payum

I loved going to Thailand. It was a really unexpected trip but a wonderful one nonetheless. The flight was definitely the hardest part. But it was worth it because of how magical it is once you get there. The first island we went to was Ko Payum. I remember warm mango rice deserts and coloring by the beach. I remember exhilarating motorcyle rides with my cousin and joking around trying to race each other. I remember the tropical forests and the cacophony of joyous birds in the morning. I remember finding sand dollars and taking photos at sunset. I remember mermaid-like beach excursions and coca cola in the sand to dry off. I remember massaman curry and a pina colada watching the sunset from a pirate tikki restauraunt. I remember night markets with elegant tapestries and hand-made jewlery. I remember late night getaways to convenience stores to get thai chips. I remember glorious massages from sweet Thai ladies. I remember how the water felt on my skin and how lulling and comforting the ocean felt.

What I’m excited for this weekend

So I was struggling with ideas to write about, and my boyfriend suggested I write about what I’m going to do this weekend. I’m going to spend the weekend with him. Lately that’s been the theme, because I spend all week with my dad so it’s nice to be able to see him on the weekend. Somehow the weekends always go by so fast. Last weekend especially because I worked one morning. Anyway, there is a free disney expo that looks like it would be fun. I like trying to find free things to do on the weekend. When I was in a group program we would do weekend planning, and plan about 3 things per day for the weekend on Friday, so we would know what we wanted to accomplish or focus on. I think that is such a good habit to get into. I like how it is also really realistic, because you can plan the three things and stick to them and then the rest of the time is up to you – willy nilly surprises you may want to do. I’ve been wanting to go feed the birds again, we went one time to a particular spot with lots of birds and it was so magical. I would love to try this again so I’m hoping it’s warm out. I also love going somewhere to get a warm drink. There is a coffee shop not to far from us, so it might be nice to take a stroll over there and get a coffee and see what we see on our walk. I also need to excercise during the weekend so I’m going to try my best to remember to do an at home workout- I really like the samsung health app. I love taking baths so I’m sure this will occupy some of my time during the weekend. I think we may also go visit my boyfriends mom – she makes us crepes and they are so yummy. And maybe I will try to go visit my own mom too! I’ll have to ask her what day she is free. So I think that is lots to do on the weekend. I’m sure there will be downtime to where I get to play my nintendo so I’m looking forward to that. Oh and my boyfriend and I like playing call of duty together. Oh one more thing – I want to try and cook something together, like a salad and past but something we don’t normally have.

Okay that’s all for now.

BYEEE

Some problems that I (and everyone else) deal with

  1. Money. Even though my visa card has a high limit, I never let it go over about 250 before I pay it off. This way I’m not too behind once my pay comes.
  2. Boredom. I always have options available of hobbies to do, and I make sure I really like those hobbies. I also stay strong and work hard, instead of falling into the trap of social media.
  3. Stress from family. If I am having trouble being around family, I distance myself and make sure to have some alone time. I don’t let myself feel guilty for taking the time out that I need.
  4. Finding Balance. I recognize some weeks are more for friends, some are more for productivity, some are more for self care. I don’t get worked up about having the right balance of everything in each week, I just make sure every month I can look back and know I hit all the criteria.
  5. Self-worth. I try to do things that raise my self-worth and make me feel good about myself. Like exercising, blogging and reading. However I also need to remember more that my self-worth shouldn’t be always tied to my productivity, I am worthy simply because I am alive. I still struggle with self-worth.
  6. Creativity. This one I struggle with on a daily basis. It’s hard to come up with new things to excite yourself with and new content. I guess I just try to go with the flow and see what I can dig out of my brain that day.
  7. Health. I really struggle with eating healthy. Junk food is so readily available. If anyone has any tips could they please comment. Eventually I just get sick of eating junk and then I get better. My goal is to eat healthier breakfasts from now on. NOT instant noodles.
  8. Stress. I try not to overthink. I try my best not to let things get to my. I try not to stress about things that aren’t happening in the present moment. I just wait until they happen and then deal with them.
  9. Career pressure. I think it’s important to have a job. But if you don’t then it’s important to do your best to take care of yourself, especially your mind when you have time off. You have to try to not let the pressure get to you and know you are just in a season of rest.
  10. Relationship issues. I think you really just have to come to a conclusion of if this person is worth it. We all have our issues so which person is worth putting in the effort for?