What qualities do I admire in myself?

I admire that I really know how to have a good time and essentially take care of myself. I always know how to put myself first and always do what I want to do. Sometimes it can be to my detriment though because I won’t pick up work shifts because I’d rather have me time. Which is not good. But yeah most of the time I’m doing something because I want to do it.

I really admire that once I decide something is important to me, for example a personal goal like weight loss or saving money, I do everything in my power to achieve that goal. Like I think once something starts to bother me, it’s a wake-up call and I really have the grit to change it.

I would say I really admire that I am able to be resilient. Even if I have a bad day the next day can be completely different and positive. Even if I feel bad about something or start overthinking, I can start fresh in the morning and do things that are productive and make me feel good.

I think I am really authentic, if I don’t align with something I won’t fake it. I will fix it or say its not for me. I am not afraid to be something.

I think i’m also rebellious in a harmless way, in that I’m not a strict rule follower and will do things that align with my values over following the companies rules.

I think as I’ve gotten older I am alot more vulnerable than I used to be. I used to bottle everything up and hold it in, but now I feel much better that I have some solid friendships that I can lean on and bounce problems or even just ideas off of. I think with my parents I tell them a lot more than I used to and am able to spend more quality time with them or tell them my struggles or worries.

I am very sensual. I love yoga, walking slowly in nature and embracing my surroundings, feeling my body sweat and move when I’m running, and enjoying outfits and appreciating how I look in the mirror. Sensuality is important when I put on makeup, or spray on perfume. I think it’s not just about how you move through life, but also how you experience things. Eating is sensual and I don’t shy away from indulging.

I think I am a caring person for the people that are important to me. I do things to help others and make them feel special. I never want to neglect anyone in my life. I love giving gifts to others or just sharing what I have with others. I love giving people compliments. I love teaching kids things.

I think I am hardworking and consistent if that work is important to me. I love content creation, working out, reading, and being there for the people I love.

Chat GPT knows me and said that I am emotionally intuitve. I honestly love that one. I feel things deeply and navigate decision based on my emotions but also based on an inner knowing.

Getting hyped up

I feel like when you get someone to tell you why you are doing amazing and slaying it just makes you really start to believe it and then you start acting that way and embodying what you want to be great at. If you are being told by your friend or a tarot reading that you are glowing and you are following your true calling, you will be more likely to do that. You will position yourself in the mindset to achieve that goal faster. For example if they tell you you have a beautiful mind and you are transforming to the next level, you are going to believe them and it is going to become a part of your automatic thoughts when you carry out your day to day life. If they tell you the more you say yes to your desires, the more yourself you are becoming, you will integrate that into your psyche and being. It’s just so encouraging hearing all of this positive stuff about yourself, even if it is exaggerated because you will just start to become delulu and that is what you need when you want to uplift yourself and get through all the adversity. When they tell you you have leveled up and who you have become is who you need to be to start the new season of your life it’s just so affirming that all the work you have done was worthwhile and really has made a noticeable difference in your life. It’s like all that discipline you had is now being recognized and you are even more encouraged to keep going with what you have been working on because it is confirmed that it shows and has made you into a new person. It’s just so positive and freeing, in the reading I watched she mentioned freedom a lot, and when they say you are more free, you automatically look for ways you embody freedom in your life and take more opportunities to exercise freedom in your life. It’s like selective searching, now you are programming your brain to be more sensitive to free energy, and then you act upon it when you get the chance. If they mention something like temptation, then you feel even more proud that you have steered clear of it and have stayed away from what you know is bad for you. You just feel so proud of yourself because they are telling you everything you are doing so well. I don’t think you’re lying to yourself when you believe all of it, I think you are just looking at things in a more positive life and appreciating all that you have been doing.

Some spirit messages lately

So I feel very locked in and tapped in lately with spirit messages. Some messages I’ve been getting lately:

Slow down: sometimes I feel we rush through things and we miss the juciest most enjoyable parts of the activity. Slow down to appreciate the laughs, or the way someone looks, or take your time being intentional with how you say something. It really brings more prescence to the moment and more joy as well.

Renewal: This feels like a time where we are getting rid of old negative patterns. We are doing things that makes us feel renewed, such as a new exercise or new hobby. We are re-energized at this time and I feel we are being cleansed of old energies. Materialistically, we are bringing in more abundance and we feel more better able to attract it. We are buying certain self care items to refresh ourselves. Spring cleaning is here!

Hard work: we are really putting in the work on the things that matter to us. We may be literally at work more, putting in more hours.

Creativity: We are making time for things that soothe us and calm us down. We are getting ideas of how to make our lives better. We are engaging in Queen of Wands energy.

Time outside fresh air: As the weather gets warmer, we are enjoying nature and feeling revitalized from that. We are finding the spending time outdoors is relaxing and stress relieving, and we feel closer to spirit when we do this.

Heart Chakra: our heart chakras are opening wide. We are spending quality time with those we love and find so much comfort and joy in these interactions. They are easy and flowing. We are sharing things we haven’t before.

Energy upgrade: the sun, warm weather, nature and renewal all point towards an energy upgrade. We are more connected to the divine and we are finding magic in the mundane.

Practicum

So lately I have been drinking a lot more water. It’s something I wanted to do for a while. Back when I lost water I was drinking about 2 liters a day of water. I got into the habit of it and it didn’t even feel like a chore anymore, and I felt more energized to be drinking water. It became a habit and I knew it was so good for my health. I felt so accomplished by doing that one simple thing of drinking lots of water. So now, I’ve been drinking about 1.5 litres every day, and I will say I really noticed a difference in my energy levels last week. The days went by faster. It may have also been my attitude change towards practicum and just getting more comfortable but I’m sure that the water helped. I want to continue with this habit as much as I can, and hopefully I can lose some more weight. It really is one of those hacks to losing weight.

But yeah let’s talk about teaching. Originally, when I started teaching, I had to have notes with me to know exactly what I was going to say. I couldn’t really come up with things on the spot. I was also a lot less confident about going around the room and interacting with the students. Now I feel in general I can be a lot more easy going. I am able to add questions to the lesson to make it more engaging for students. That is something I really have been enjoying and making an effort to do. I think they learn a lot better when they are participating. I also feel like I can be go with the flow, when they ask questions we can talk about what they asks, and it can be an opportunity to further students knowledge. Something I learned about this particular group of students is that they are quite sharp, and I have to think about how to make things more challenging for them. I think I have done a good job at making it more challenging, and if not that then I have done a good job at creating activities for them. Creating activities for students was something I was stressed about at first, but there are so many resources online and I was able to come up with ideas on my own pretty well. I have learned that being prepared ahead of time helps so much with stress levels. I have also found that the lesson planning process has been a lot more enjoyable than I thought it would. I have learned that even if I’m underprepared in the sense of knowing what to say during the lesson, I can figure it out when I’m there.

I have learned so many ways to manage the classroom. I learned that the main issue is getting students to be quiet and to listen. In this sense, I have learned that less is more when trying to get students attention. The clapping really works well, and I love using peanut butter jelly (they respond with jelly to peanut butter), it’s such a fun way to get their attention back on you. I also learned that even though my CT says to make sure its quiet, sometimes you just want to get through the lesson so it’s okay to ignore the behavior and talk anyways. Another thing I learned is that I have to give explicit instructions when giving students an activity. I learned to tell students to hold up their paper when they are finished instead of coming up to me with their paper. I have learned how to work with ELL students as well.

How have I felt when teaching?

I have felt really nervous. Especially when getting observed. But what’s interesting about that is that I feel nervous before but as soon as I start I feel less nervous. Sometimes during teaching I have felt that I wasn’t doing a good job, or I felt frantic because so much was going on at once and I had to attend to so many students. I have also felt stressed about having to differentiate for certain students. I have also felt self-conscious because my CT is watching me and I want to do a good job. I have felt embarrassed at times when I made a mistake. I have felt confused when I didn’t understand what a student said.

I have also felt excited, happy and fulfilled when teaching. I have felt energized by the students and connected to them. I have felt very productive. I feel the students are so inquisitive and curious and I have felt inspired by them. It does make me feel smart knowing so much that the kids don’t know yet.lol.

When lesson planning I have also felt very productive.

It’s so exciting to almost be done. I know Mexico is going to be so beautiful and I can’t wait to go. I’m glad that I spent the money on something that will make me feel so good.

Exercise with passion

What’s the most fun way to exercise?

I think one fun way to exercise is rollerblading and long boarding. It’s so engaging. It’s my favorite thing and you get to be outside. I really need to do it more. Of course I also have to say yoga It’s my tried and true love. A good hot yoga session is something that makes me feel my best. Also being goofy on a walk with my boyfriend.

New Revelations

So I wanted to talk about what I’m going through and the guidance I have received. I have been doubting the career path I have chosen, I’m in the education program and have been in my first year of the 2 year program. After my first practicum, I was a bit burnt out and since then I have been intimidated by teaching more percentage of the time as well as creating lesson plans for the many lessons I will be teaching. I have been feeling drawn to counselling, but it’s such a hard decision to make if I should quit this program and start over again. I feel that I would be more fulfilled in the counselling program, but I also feel I would be fulfilled in teaching and with that getting financially independent sooner. I also feel the pressure of my dad’s potential disappointment if I decide to quit the education program. Anyway, so I’ve really been wrestling with myself for the past few months. Then I decided last night to put on some angel frequency music on youtube. Immediately I felt this immense peace and light as I just sat and listened. I was looking for answers, but what came to be was a warming calm that I didn’t know I needed. Sometimes how we feel is a message for us, and I feel that spirit was trying to show me a better energy to exist in, even amongst my busy life. I felt relaxed, like I could let go. There wasn’t a need to make a decision, I just needed to keep going. Spirit was telling me to stop ruminating, and just live my life. To surrender really. And when I realized I could lay my swords down and stop fighting, stop trying to have it all figured out, that’s when I could let go of the stress and just enjoy the journey. Yes, I will have to make a decision soon. But for now I needed the space to just experience. Before the channeling, I also wrote down what I was stressed about for 10 minutes, and then after that allotted 10 minutes I stopped thinking about the stresses and allowed my self to relax. I think at this point in my life it was kind of revolutionary to think that amongst all my responsibilities, I really could let go. I think things are only as hard as we make them in our head. The universe was really calling my to think of things from a different perspective, that I get to things, instead of that I have to do them.

Writing Prompt-where would you live

Daily writing prompt
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
View all responses

I would definitely live somewhere by the ocean. I think half moon bay BC would be so wonderful. It is right by the ocean and they have beautiful foliage. I could have a garden pretty much year round as well. I love swimming so it would be nice to be close to a beach. I also love BC because it is close to my aunt and uncle. I love how the humidity feels on my skin when I am in BC. I have made so many good memories there and would love to make more. It’s also good because it’s not too far away from my family who live in Calgary. Yah that would be like a dream come true.

Overcoming an inner struggle

So i just started a 2 year degree. At the beginning of the semester, I was really doubting if I had chosen the right path. I had a negative view of the job and thought that it was going to be too much energy. I wish I had chosen something more sophisticated, like counselling. I kept looking online at negative experiences of people in the teaching profession. My degree is education, by the way. I felt like I had chosen it because I simply didn’t know what else to do.

The more that I learn about it, and the more assignments I do for it, like doing a mini-lesson, and lesson planning, the more inspired I become. An interesting feeling washed over me as I viewed my practicum placement, one of true excitement and warmth. I realized I would be working with grade 2’s, and immediately felt that my nurturing energy would be a great asset in working with those students. I think when you think of all the work you have to do for a job, it seems painful and dreadful. It’s true, there are going to be times when it’s hard work, or students aren’t listening. But something is also true, you get to be alongside all of the magical and creative beings all day long- that is truly a blessing. So although I am not totally convinced teaching is right for, I feel I can manage it and I will be pleasantly surprised by how much i actually enjoy it.

Another thing I was struggling with was paying attention in class and just going to school. I felt negative about it and would rather just be at home. But then something switched, and I found myself a lot more engaged and really learning stuff. I felt excited to be at school and grateful I had something meaningful to do all day.

Writing Prompt

Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite form of physical exercise?
View all responses

My favourite form of physical exercise is yoga. It’s something I’m slowly getting back into lately. I feel like I was doing it diligently, but then school started and I got out of it. It’s amazing how energizing and fun it is, especially hot yoga. My body felt so liberated and it really didn’t feel like I was exerting so much effort after about 10 minutes. I think it also helped that there was a slow start and a gradual building of difficulty as we got into the practice. I think because I had done 2 classes of it last week as well, that my body was more conditioned than it had been. So if you do it regularly, even if only once a week, it gets so much easier, like any form of exercise. Something about yoga is so special and comforting to me. It feels creative and nurturing all at once. And challenging too. I love the feeling of my whole body working together to align myself to get into the proper posture. I love the gracefulness of moving from one pose to the next. I love the heat. I love how it raises your heart rate but you don’t feel like you’re going to pass out. I love how it is also so familiar to me, a warm place to call home that I can always come back to. It is something that is really cherished in my heart because I have been doing it for so long, and it’s one of the very few things that I never get bored of. I love that my mom loves doing it too and it is such a great way to connect with her. I love how refreshed and rejuvenated I feel after hot yoga, even more than running sometimes. I noticed that this morning I felt so naturally positive, and I think I owe it to yoga to thank for that. The endorphins help boost your mood so much and it really has lasting mental health benefits. I want to go every Friday now :).

Getting out of a Rut

I think its very natural to go through periods where you feel unmotivated. We almost need to go through that dip to get to a place of renewed and potent inspiration.

When I’m in a rut I feel like I have such a hard time getting out of bed. I just want to scroll on my phone even though I know doing my hobbies would feel way better. When I’m in a rut I want to rot. I want to go buy loads of food and sit in bed and eat it. I will put on a movie and not pay attention and just keep scrolling. I will feel really unmotivated to work and drag myself there. I will not talk to any of my friends, be really late to respond to texts, and not want to hang out with my family. I won’t want to be around people. I will just want to spend lots of money too. Mostly, I will just not make time or energy for the things I love. I will lack self-discipline.

When I’m getting out of a rut, I will first become aware of how unfulfilled and unsatisfied I feel. I will realize that what I’ve been doing does’t make me feel good or give me energy. I will then make the decisions to try to do one thing a day that will fuel me in a passionate way. I always start small because I know it is a step forward at least from where I was. I really have to dig deep within me to take that step forward, and really have to muster up a lot of energy since I have no momentum built up yet. Slowly, I start to feel better about myself and feel proud at being productive in a pursuit that I love.

That’s when I start actually enjoying the things. At first, I had to force myself to get going, but after a few days it becomes a habit and I can actually get lost in what I’m doing now that I’ve established that routine. I feel a renewed sense of inspiration, and if it’s reading for example, I’m reminded of how much fun it is, how interested I am, and how much I get to learn. It feels like coming home to something that was waiting there all along, it feels cozy and welcoming, like I had never left it. Once I get back into the certain hobby, I get really invested and I am reminded of why I love it in the first place. These good feelings encourage and motivate me to continue with the hobby. After I needed that initial push at the beginning, now the motivation is regenerating itself within me, and I don’t need to force myself because I built it into a habit.

I think when we are working on getting out of a right, we need to identify exactly what we are going to do to get out of it. We also need to be gentle with ourselves if it takes us sometime to get out of it. We need to build that hobby into a habit, into our routine so we can count on ourselves to do it everyday. We need to pick something that we love so it makes it feel easier for us to spend time doing it. While we are doing our hobby, we also need to be gentle with ourselves. It’s also really important to congratulate ourselves when we are investing our time wisely, such as a reward of spending time with a friend or eating something delicious. It’s not easy getting out of rut, but it’s definitely possible and we are going to feel so much positivity from it.

Here are the benefits of getting out of a rut:

  1. more energy
  2. more confidence
  3. more inspiration
  4. more positivity
  5. more fun
  6. producitivty
  7. good vibes
  8. relaxation
  9. growth
  10. fulfillment
  11. joy
  12. love
  13. connection
  14. freedom
  15. learning
  16. health