If you are having trouble dating

So my thoughts are that if you are dating someone, you just have to be a good person. You have to have the best intentions at heart. And if you don’t, those negative/selfish intention will be revealed. No judgement from me though, I have definitely been in that place where all I wanted to do was get dressed up for a cute date, without really caring about the connection I had with the guy. And I think maturity helps with having compassion for these guys. But I just want to get to the point. If you are concerned about their well-being, and come from a place of nurturing rather than self-satisfying wants, you will get the guy. At least that’s what I think. And I don’t know, my appearance I’m sure plays a factor. But I feel like for any girl, no matter what you look like, if you reach out beyond your own personal desires and stop keeping track of who texted first or who put in more effort and just talk to the guy you like, he will respond well and will want to see you. I think because you both know that you aren’t coming from a place of resentment. But I do have to say it probably works better for the lucky few of us girls blessed with good looks, that we have a lot of power to choose who we want to be with. But I also think it works for anybody, because if you have the conviction to express what you want, and that you aren’t going to put up with any bullshit, but at the same time that you are a kind-hearted person and will be grateful for someone who is the same, you will thrive in this crazy dating world a lot of us 20 year olds have to navigate. Love is definitely a battlefield, but if you can keep your eye on the prize, essentially if you know what you want and deserve, you’ll be swell!

Why I love yoga, and why everybody owes it to themselves to do it

So I have been doing yoga since I was 14 or 15. Now that I think about it, it was pretty crazy considering I went straight into hot yoga at a studio – the real stuff. I didn’t expect it to be so difficult, and being only a 70 minute class, half way through it I felt like I was about to die. Hot yoga is hard, harder than writing a blog definitely, and anybody who claims otherwise is outright daft. I think I’ve been reading too many english novels and watching too many british vlogs. FunforLouis anyone? He’s amazing go check him out. He just did a kayak trip all the way through the country. How amazing is that! There truly is something amazing about long fitness journies like that. Back to yoga. So it felt like I was in jail, and you don’t want to get out obviously so you don’t disrupt the class. And 7 years later, I am so glad I stuck through that first grueling class. I started off with the classes, since I had my well earned coaching money to waste on them when I was younger. But now that I am older and trying to save a bit, and don’t have such an optimistic view of people I will admit, I much prefer just doing them at home. It is meant to be a meditation, so I think practicing solo can be a very rejuvinating experience and it somehow feels like that’s what the buddhist Gods meant it to be. It is a chance to look inward, when so much of our lives we are looking outward. And somehow this practice of looking inward – surprisingly – weakens our ego instead of strengthening it. It is a chance to stop at each pose and appreciate it for what it really is – isn’t that what life is about.

Yoga is a lot about finding a balance between the strength and engagement action in the poses, while at the same time relaxing and finding calm in the breath. I think this is where a lot of skepticism comes in, because people find it hard to understand how you can achieve relaxation when performing such difficult postures. I think the way you do this is to submit to the feeling of being in your body, of being part of your body, rather than your mind being a separate part of it. Once you surrender to the ability you have to really be your body, and to realize what that feels like, the frustration goes away, and the relaxation comes naturally. I wish I had a better way of explaining to you how to do it. I only know that it is what works, this awareness of how your body feels in the present moment – that leads you to feeling at peace, even through the most difficult of postures. Like warrior for example, you are standing there and your legs are burning. But instead you think of your arms, how strong and free they are. You think of your posture, how regal you are. You think of how much space you are taking up, and how unwavering you are. This fills you with power, and instead of feeling discouraged, you relax and realize that this stillness will lead you to great things. Which leads me to my next point….

By doing yoga, we open ourselves to the greatness of the universe. Somehow, by doing this small stretchy practice, when we allow patience and nature of the breath to take over, it sends a message. I often take for-granted this part of yoga, mostly doing it for my own fitness and own mental well-being. But after I am finished, I feel and remember how much more yoga does for us. After savasna at the end of the practice, it puts our parasympathetic nervous system at the forefront, so we can feel our way through life, to be able to be in the right place at the right time without forcing anything. I know for sure this is what we are all striving for. We want things to happen for us without trying so hard. Why should we have to when we work so hard for everything else. It makes me, for one, stop overthinking and just move to the next thing, then to the next. In some magical way, it helps me know what I am supposed to be doing. I think this is so valuable at a time where many of us are so distraught at having a free day to ourselves, because we really have no idea how to self-direct ourselves, without looking to others or getting torn by two different options. It helps us open our awareness of intuition, so we can harness the natural abundance of all the universe has planned for us.

I know after doing 7 years of yoga, as opposed to not having done it the past 7 years, that I am a completely different person- for the better.

I respect the idea that we need to have patience to get through this life, we need to be able to let go.

Most importantly we need to surrender. Surrendering is the most freeing feeling and leads us to great abundance.

I am not expert at yoga, nor at surrendering, but little by little, I know I am helping myself and feeding my soul in so many ways, ways that I could never attain without the yoga practice.

If you’re still reading – I love you, you are a wonderful person. Not for reading this far (well kind-of), but mostly just for being. I am sitting where my ex-boyfriend and I had a lovely valentine’s day date with cake and coffee. And I don’t feel too sad about it- which is really good thing. And yoga has helped with that! Yoga helps you become a sane person.

Eating Healthy changes everything

-girl who just last week was eating chocolate and bread everyday all the time

So I’ve decided to start eating healthy. I know you don’t believe me, I didn’t believe myself to be honest. Because how do we define eating healthy? Well for me, this is one of the areas where I go to extremes. Because if it involves sugar, or processed foods, let’s label that as very unhealthy. I guess you could call it a caveman diet. And I know this is all the craze right now to eat healthy, but trust me it will change your life. I wish I had known this a long time ago. Since it is summer, and I have all the time to cook and eat how I want to, I figured why not! I am only two days in of eating strictly grains, vegetables, and eggs for meals, and a little bit of peanut or bread here and there. Already – I can’t tell you how amazing I feel. I’m not so worried about everyone else, or trying to please others and my anxiety is significantly reduced. I feel empowered that I am choosing and making what goes into my body. I feel so much more motivated to do the next thing. The biggest bonus out of all of it is that I have linear, coherent thoughts. I am a very emotional person – sometimes this works to my benefit, and other times, when I am attempting to be a functioning human, not so much. I am almost certain I have ADD, and yet eating healthy has allowed me to slow down, and to do the next obvious thing. Which is funny because I thought since I already have an overactive brain, that eating healthy would amplify this. Completely the opposite! It is helping me sleep more, and perhaps this is partly because I am more motivated to busy myself and workout during the day which hence tires me out more. Regardless I know eating healthy calms my crazy nerves and mind down. On top of it – it is surprisingly easy to throw together some very yummy, healthy meals. It did take a bit of frustration and spilling in the beginning, but I can see myself replicating these recipes over and over again, so I’m sure it will become easier.

The hardest part is starting, then once you can maneuver your way through that, a wave of freedom overcomes you 🙂

ps. I will include some recipes soon

Introducing Myself

Hi, I’m Clare, nice to meet you. I’m 22 years old, Canadian and I think writing or journaling is one of the best things we can for our mental health. I am a very active person, not so good at cooking but I try to eat healthy. I love animals, especially dogs. I love Buddhism, yoga, and childreny things( like Mary Poppins – the novel – and Harry potter – the novel). I love people who are blatantly honest(like my mom) and people who are brave enough to admit they are scared. But I also love people who never give in to fear and choose to live their life by love. That is what I’d say my soul and sole intention is, right now. TO love instead of to fear. To love without thinking of receiving. I still definitely have trouble with this, but don’t we all? Mostly I don’t want to try to be like someone at all, I want to be many things, and if a lot of those things are just as ordinary as everybody else, who cares, at least I will be happily ordinary. But I don’t fear being ordinary, because no matter how boring we may feel sometimes, we all have something dazzelingly special and magnificent to bring into this world that nobody else could. I truly believe that. I have no idea what my ‘thing’ is, but if you’re willing to find out with me, I’m all in! Who knows, maybe it’s my inability to realize how much I’m smiling when I get to go dancing. Ugh I love dancing soo much!!! And reading, reading with so much wonder. Or maybe it’s the warrior women in me realizing that I don’t need anybody else to be happy! I just need myself to have so much fun.