Losing material things is okay with me, I tend to do it a lot. But I'm finding much more valuable things in place of these, like quality of life, passion, and motivation. Come on a journey with me to discover so much more to life.
The key to self-love is self forgiveness. I learned this from a podcast where gwenyth paltrow said this to end it off. If you want to listen to it, it’s on Anna Ferris’ , “Unqualified” podcast.
The reason that self-forgiveness is so important, is because no matter what we do, it’s never going to perfect in our eyes. We are always going to be making mistakes, or thinking we haven’t done well enough, all throughout our lives. No matter how wise, smart, or careful we are, nothing we do will be perfect. And some days, it seems that everything we do is wrong. And no matter what, we can’t help that, that’s just how life is. Becuase we are not robots, so we are always going to make mistakes.
So, with that in hindsight, we must forgive ourselves for the things we don’t like that we have done in our lives. When we forgive ourselves, it heals us and gives us the freedom to carry on without holding ourselves back because of previous mistakes. It gives us a chance to start over, to look forward positively so we can move forward and do something positive. It changes our mindset, helping us to have lower expectations of ourselves which in turn opens up so much space and we find ourselves approaching life more calmly, and treating ourselves more lovingly.
When we don’t hold it against ourselves for each little wrongdoing we did that day, and instead we let it go and move on, we feel good. When we understand we aren’t perfect and never will be, we recognize we are normal and we shouldn’t be holding ourselves to such high expectations and we move on. When we forgive ourselves, it releases us from the past and allows us to fully enjoy the present moment without reservations. Living in the present moment is a big part of self-love, because you are only taking on as much as you can handle. You are not trying to handle things in the past or future, which we really shouldn’t be. It’s in the past. Also, it gives us the opportunity for growth when we recognize that we don’t have to know everything immediately. Self-forgiveness is not allowing ourselves to not try, but it is realizing that we can be bad at things at the beginning and still have so much room for improvement. It isn’t using an excuse like, well I’m only human so I don’t have to try and don’t have to be good at anything ever again. Self-forgiveness is when you are trying, but in your eyes it still doesn’t feel good enough. It is for the times when you are being so hard on yourself, that giving yourself breathing room is a generous act of self-love. It is knowing that giving yourself that forgiveness is what is going to move you forward, because you know can approach things from a more relaxed space.
When we are in a state of self-forgiveness, embracing the imperfections, things flow so easily and naturally. Because we know and are accepting of the fact that we can’t do everything how we want to all of the time, we start doing more, no matter what it looks like. We know we are going to forgive ourselves for mistakes, so we are more motivated to get up and try. We are no longer punishing ourselves for wrongdoings, so if it doesn’t matter if we mess up, we are going to much more willing to experiment, to work, to exercise, to talk, to just do more things. Because the truth is, when we are creating, when we are actually spending more time interacting with life, that is when we are the most alive, and also when we are helping the most people. When we are making ourselves present (because we aren’t stuck in our past mistakes) and contributing in whatever way we know how, we are inspiring others to interact with life, and inspiring them to contribute. When we can let go of self-judgment, we have much more freedom and inspiration to keep going.
Self-forgiveness allows us to live a much richer life than we ever could have imagined. When we don’t care about what happens, we are willing to dry and do almost anything!
I’ve been on an airplane for a total of 14 trips in my life, and I must say that all of them were at least a pleasant experience. And if they were unpleasant, it was only for a short time, such as the plane being very small and full the times I travelled from Saskatchewan to Calgary, and the one time from Idaho to Calgary. Luckily I am not afraid of heights or planes, and I’ve always had an infinite trust in pilots. They have to go to school for so long, and the commercial pilots have been flying for years by the time you get to fly with them, so I’ve always thought, what reason do I have to feel unsafe. The odds that the plane crashes which I’m aware does happen, are very, very, small. I have always had a very calm, laid back personality and have secretly marveled at the thought of having huge chunks of time to do nothing. I love the long stretches to read, listen to music, or if they are nice enough, get to know the person beside me.
Of course the best part is looking out the window and realizing that you are actually floating along in the sky. I love being able to see all of the glorious earth beneath you, especially the majestic mountain ranges I have seen above British Columbia and Colorado. The fluffy clouds aren’t bad as well, neither are the beautiful sunsets and pepper sparkled city streets of Chicago. Another feeling is one of absolute power, but in the most light-hearted, gentle, airy kind of way. It’s not that you have to exert power over anyone to get it, you just embody it so effortlessly, as you float above everyone and everything with such an ease.
No I lied. Maybe the real best part is getting to travel to an often new an unfamiliar place at such a quick pace, knowing you will arrive within hours and get to experience a totally different set of people, ideas, and surroundings. Even when you have been there before, it is still is an unfamiliar place that you know you will get to experience something new.
Maybe one of the most interesting places I’ve been to was Atlanta, Georgia. Everything was so outdated, some of the roads were so loopy and curvy looking like waves in them, like out of a cartoon. There were so many brick buildings, with worn out edges and yellow stained cement that should have been white. Looking back maybe it’s because we stayed in a worse-off neighborhood, in “the hood” as they call it (as I was scrolling through google images, their downtown sector looks brand new). All the businesses that were updated seemed to just replace the signs and leave the old buildings as they are. We were indeed in a lower end of town, but I do believe it added so much character to the city and my heart wants it to stay stuck in time with only the outdated and worn-down city streets in my memory. At our hotel, it had continental breakfast and the ladies working there were so sweet. They were all african american, and bless their souls because they were just truly the sweetest! These southern ladies were so loud and flamboyant, but in the best way and you could tell they were having so much fun. They would be like “how you ladies doin this mornin?” “oooowee we got some cheerleaders in the house”. It was while I was on a university cheer team, so that probably made them even more encouraged to make a big deal out of the littlest things, “sure I can get you some waffles darlin!”. Just how open and kind they were, their light was just emanating from them, the biggest smiles and most beautiful voices. I can’t say I have seen soul like that before, in the most unsuspecting of places, a hotel breakfast room!
In southern states, waffle house are popular I found, this is one we drove by:
New York was one of the most entertaining places I have been to ! I will never forgot my Italian Aunt making me the most delicious bowl of pasta for when I got there! This is one of the reasons I want to get better at cooking, you can make magic and those you care about feel like magic. I loved travelling the underground subways, they are so full of culture, there were several musicians as well as train hip-hop and break dancers. I loved walking through the busy streets, always having something to look at. From models on 5th avenue to countless jewelry and clothing vendors on canal street, how can you be bored! I loved the heat too, we were there for one of their heatwaves (I think these are rare in New York), and it was glorious. And I just realized the humidity, as it is fairly close to the ocean, was another huge plus for me, it made my body feel so limber and at ease. Most would disagree with me, but I just felt so relaxed, I can stand it and it gave me an excuse to wear nothing but flowy dresses all week. We were lucky enough to get gifted a Wicked broad way show by my uncle, and went to the Kate Spade offices (shhh) where my aunt was working at the time. Then we hit up some of the museums, and even rode a city bus! I don’t recommend MOMA, it wasn’t the best to be honest! Something that was the best was going to a mexican restaurant and eating their homemade gauc that they make in front of you. But above all, spending time with my little cousin, my mom, my aunt, and my uncle was a treasure. I truly enjoy spending time with my family, especially my relatives in New York, they are the coolest. I miss them often, so whenever I get the chance to see them I cherish it as much as I can. Do you feel the same way about your relatives?
This is my cousin and I walking together in New Jersey, just on the other side of the water is New York City.
Let’s talk about my trip to Florida Keys. Driving over the purple and turquoise ocean seeing nothing else but the road bridge was one of the most beautiful, amazing experiences ever. I went there with my dad and sister on a family trip, and it was absolutely glorious. Again, I was living the life in the hot humid air, and we went there to learn how to scuba dive! Our dive instructor was an interesting character, he had a rock-n-roll vibe with his bald head and mustache, in a very friendly but at the same time bad-ass kind of way. He was a very unique guy, and I was so grateful to him for teaching us how to scuba. He could be intimidating at times, (his bad-ass side coming out), but only because he really wanted us to do well (his friendly side). We started off in the pool, and to be honest it was not fun at all, he was getting us to take off our eye-mask under the water, then put it back on, then take off our breath apparatus, and put it back on! It felt like torture. Also I’m remembering now it was hard to breathe because my oxygen tank was old. But I didn’t know that at the time, so I thought it was always be that uncomfortable. So I was all of a sudden, after having no fear, very uneasy about doing this in the actual ocean. My sister was doing great in the pool. As soon as we did our first dive in the ocean after we had passed all the classroom tests as well, something switched. I was feeling confident again, finding myself much more at ease in the ocean depths, and preforming the various safety tricks, while my sister came up from the dive feeling terrified and not wanting to go again. I can’t blame her, can you? Eventually, after much encouragement from our dive instructor and much reprimanding from my dad, and much coddling and self-esteem boosting from me (I’m a good sis what can I say?) she was able to dive on the last two days. One day, to jaw- dropping surprise, a Californian couple who had been completing the course around the same time as us said they took their boat out and went on a couple dives themselves, the woman confessing she had spun up to the surface a couple times like we had all done that day (lol). The dive instructor said, “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that”, and they were not fully certified so it wasn’t really allowed for them to go on their own yet. Spinning up to the surface happens when you start breathing in more air than you are exhaling, so you increase your buoyancy so much that your body flings itself to the surface. I had no idea that could happen ( I still find it hilarious). It’s harmless most of the time, but at the time I had no idea what happened so I was just super shocked and then, like, okay I’m fine. It happened to me and the Californian women together at the same time, so we just looked at each other and laughed once we reached the surface. Anyway, it was such a beautiful experience, it really is a whole new world under there like Ariel says, and so peaceful. Everything just slowed down. If you haven’t done it yet, you definitely should, it was so worth it. This is one of the places I could definitely move to , everyone was just so friendly and laid-back, along with the weather and the scenery makes me think I could live there in a heartbeat.
Me scuba diving , with the dive master
Me in a tree
Disneyworld was definitely a fun time! I don’t quite remember the first time. The second time I was around 9 I believe, and it just so much fun! The most memorable thing the first time I was there ( I was about 6) was seeing cirque du sole, I found it so captivating. But my attention span is not very good, still to this day, so it’s no wonder back then I fell asleep halfway through. My dad thought it was pretty funny and teased me for it. If anyone asks, I will say yes, it was a surprisingly very peaceful show to watch. Hey ! I can’t blame me I was so little. It is truly amazing their talent though, I remember being completely awestruck when the man rolled around the stage, his body in a star shar shape grasping the rungs of the giant wheel. I think the whole Disneyworld trip was quite overwhelming for me, even at 9. It’s the only reason why I think I can’t remember much of that trip either. I’m such a sensitive being, so crowds weren’t doing well with me. Somehow, the rides were no problem for me. The water wagon ride (is that what you call it?) was very crazy, it felt like such a big drop. I remember universal studios well, the hulk ride was my favorite, because it was a roller coaster but started inside this big black cave really high up, and they would play his gravelly, angered voice saying “I’m very mad at you” or something, and then you would be released forward and shoot off at an upward angle sort of. It was the coolest feeling ever. My sister and I kept going on that ride over and over. And now thinking about it now as an adult, it was truly unique engineering and creatively genius, because you felt like you were being punished, but exhilarated from the physical feeling of it! crazy ! lol. and then you would fall down in the coaster and do the loops and all the rest. But hulk bellows aside, my sister and I love amusement parks and we had such a blast there, along with my dad who loves them too.
So today in my “recess” outside of the quarantine hotel for fresh air, I met a very friendly Spanish man. He said he had just been down to the states to visit his daughter. He said that he loves Canada repeatedly, that it was not safe in the U.S. and there are so many crazy people there. He was keen to express how good Canada was. He then asked for my number to ‘talk’ and I thought about it but decided not to. He was very interesting, he said that he swam over the border from Mexico to the U.S. I had to get him to repeat that a couple of times, I couldn’t believe it. He said he had to wait for one month so that the organizers could help him, and then when he did go, it wasn’t more than a courtyard’s length that was separating the two countries. I had heard once on the news while on vacation with my dad and sister there was a man who tried to surf across the border. I think he was able to but then got caught. This man I was talking to never got caught, but he said that many others that tried and many that were with him did not make it. He said the current is so strong, so it is hard even though it isn’t a very long distance. Then from there, he lived in the U.S., and then it took him 8 years to achieve refugee status and move to Canada. I did not realize that the U.S. was so adamant on refusing Mexican immigrants, or I’m sure he wouldn’t have tried to cross the border in such a dangerous way. There must be something very good about the U.S. and Canada indeed for someone to go to such lengths to get here. I mean I knew that there were immigrants from all over the world here, but I didn’t know they had such good reasons for coming. For him, it was truly his safety that he was worried about, and he knew Canada was a safe place. I was also amazed at the fact that when he came to the U.S. he had nothing but the clothes on his back, and he was living there illegally for so many years without any documentation or government sanctions. I mean he had to get a job of course, but he must of had a low entry level position where they don’t care about stuff like ID’s, passports, birth certificates, police checks, etc. Or maybe he did obtain some of that stuff but just said he lost it all? Because that probably happens often as well. So anyway I just found his story to be very fascinating, how bout you?
There was something special about today for sure. Harmony is a theme in the number 22, and yester there was one occurrence where I saw 2 minutes and 22 seconds left on the program I was watching just as I had paused it. I really don’t believe such things are coincidences. I have been seeing 222 all last week as well. Today, when I was allowed for the 30 minutes outside, I talked a mom and her 2 year old daughter. The mom was stressed out because the health official couldn’t locate any of her documents, so I tried to sympathize as much as I could with her in a non-judgmental way. That could have just as well happened to me, I am in no place to judge. Her daughter had the best chubby cheeks, and looked quite sad, and mature for just 2 years old. I had a strong urge to make her feel happy and fun, so I started jumping around and dancing and hopping. At first she looked at me completely confused, and her mom said, what’s she doing? and then I asked her to jump, but her speaking wasn’t there yet, and I think her comprehension was lacking as well. At 2 she should have been speaking and understanding more than she was, this made me feel even more sad for her. So I started running and said come run with me. She slowly followed, but would stop, so I would go back and run with her, again and again she would run then stop. She was unsure, and then eventually she just followed behind me and we ran around the small courtyard twice and by the second time she had a wide, beaming smile. It was the most expansive, beautiful, happiest expressions I have ever seen. I think my soul wanted her soul to know how wonderful life can be, because you have that glory inside you, anytime you want it to shine it will be there for you. You can bring that out no matter what situation you are in. 333, LOVE.
That was definitely a harmonies time spent with them, we all were in such a good flow together, even though we had only met 3 days ago. Her mother was just as wonderful, but may have been under a lot of stress. But if I somehow helped them in some small way, that’s all I can ask for. There are both so beautiful and so sweet.
Today, for my 30 minutes of allowance outside in the courtyard, I found a young man standing outside. At first I was shy, and I saw him blushing bright red. I asked him where he was travelling from, and he said Arizona. He asked me, and I said Idaho. We started talking so naturally, and I can’t even remember really what we were saying. His energy was so nice and pure, and I was impressed and started to become happier and more shy when I saw how humble he was. I asked him why he was there, and he said for soccer. I expressed how amazing that was, and he was honest, saying he is just starting out and that it isn’t as glamorous as it seems. He asked me why I was travelling, and I look down and said to see ‘a boyfriend’ as if I somehow had more than one, or was willing to.. which I’m pretty sure was not the case.
Maybe some inkling in my subconscious was thinking that , I’m not sure. He was very attractive and very kind and so, yes, I’d say a part of me had to be considering him. He kept talking to keep the conversation going, and we talked about how I’m in school and how he wants to enroll in business. I said that sometimes its hard and sometimes its great, and he said, yes like anything. So after that I thought he would indeed make a very good student. I could also gather that he looked a bit tired from travelling, not in the physical sense but in the emotional sense. It seemed like he wanted a more stable life for himself, and here I had been taking for granted how stable of I life I had for myself and at such a young age. School really has been such a blessing in my life, the friends, the discipline, the determination, and the humility alone are priceless.
Anyway, we continued talking especially about the quarantine situation. We were both so happy we didn’t have to pay for the hotel, and we were also astounded at the fact that it was such a nice hotel. However, regardless of all the glamour, we both deep down still wanted to go home to see our friends and family. And we were also aware of the sickening truth that we were being held somewhere, against our will. We both agreed it was like prison in a lot of ways, and yet we hadn’t even done anything wrong! Our freedom was being taken away from us, who would have thought in a country like Canada! We both agreed the amount of outdoor time was difficult, as we are both quite athletic.
He even joked to the volunteer supervising us that it was like a prison! haha.
we continued taking about how many people are still travelling, and how many are reaping the rewards. and I gave him some advice about how he can be released from this prison. Looks like I won’t be seeing him again, at least not for a while.
As a woman who loves being pampered and loves her alone time, I am not finding this quarantine as difficult as I initially thought. keeping yourself busy is such a saving grace in an abundance of situations. And giving yourself the care you need no matter what is also so helpful.
So it is officially -20 Celsius here in Canada on the regular, and it will continue for likely a straight week. So basically full blown winter for my part of the world. Yet somehow, I have managed to the find the beauty and the bliss in it. For one thing, the snowy wonderland is absolutely gorgeous. For another, the Hoffman cold therapy techniques really do a have a bite to them ( literally, lol!). So before I knew anything about those hoffman things, I really tried to avoid the cold. I did not think that it was good for me at all, not for my body, and not for my emotional self either. I was miserable whenever my dad would drag us out for some skiing. And even more miserable if I was waiting out in the cold for the bus, or god forbid I had to walk outside after going to eat somewhere in the dead of winter. ahh! Yet my mind goes to thousands of years ago(wait what?) to when the mayan and riveran or whatever they were called lived up in mountain caves with no shelter except what the raw earth provided, and somehow lived up to be my age! And I’m thinking, okay there must be something to being outside that cradles our vitality. And I myself, am absolutely shocked with me for now getting to a point where I actually enjoy the odd run in -20 weather! So now, I will try to explain why that is. especially to those of you who do not like the cold. Trust me, I am still a cold-chicken at heart, but I have learned some work around and some mind tricks that have helped me get the most of my time in the outdoors. Okay sorry getting on with it.
1.The first thing I can think of is the comfortability of it. This one is counter-intuitive, but it really is true the more uncomfortable a situation is for you, the more you know you are doing it right. Because being in the cold is challenging, it brings out the best and the worst in you. It is not easy, and you feel proud after, and even during it. It strips you down to the primal human you are, makes you forget about so many things and don’t even matter anyway, forces you to be in the moment, to feel the cold air on your skin. It tears down your walls, I’m sure of it, and makes you more open to this beautiful life we have. So what I’m saying is that the cringyness of it, that is really le piece du resisance. That is the special thing that being out in the cold can give you, it is in the most unsuspecting (and seemly worst) places that we find the greatest treasures.
Another piece to the uncomfortability part is the strength that it gives you. You are definitely not of the faint of heart when you decide to go for a little adventure in the like of very frigid temperatures. You have a strong mind, soul, and body. And the more you do it, the stronger you get, just like with anything!
2.Okay so another wonderful thing is just breathing all that fresh air in. No matter what you are doing out there. It is amazing what some fresh air can do for you. It makes you feel so revitalized, so alive, so in tune, so beautiful, so natural.
3. The people you see. You will see some extremely kind people out there. The reason you must ask? I am not so sure. I think it is because they love themselves enough to know that the things that aren’t easy are the things that will help. So of course, they will love you too for getting out there along side them, and also share a respect for the type of person it takes to do it!
4. How much you feel like yourself when you do it. This one has been huge for me! It is a glorious chance to get in touch with my true self, without any distractions. When we move, it activates parts of our intution we never knew were there, and it helps us see our deeper persona and qualities. If you go alone, it will be even more dramatic that you will find yourself thinking, who am I? but that is really just the truer version of yourself coming out, being free to express yourself and go wild travelling wherever you may like!
5. It is such a good way to kill some time. If your friend has 5 0’clock hair appt and can’t meet you till 6, no worries, you have a run to get in! It makes you less reliant on other people as well, as sometimes, you might find you are choosing it over spending time with some people… oops
6. This is more of a running one – but distances seem so much shorter. And you can run or walk to the grocery store any time of year … how cool is that?
7. It is such a good way to get in touch with nature.
8. I think we will end it here because I’m running out of reasons, all though I’m sure I could dig up some more. But anyway, I’m sure you have people to see and places to be. So I will end with how good it makes you feel! It just gets every single cell in your body fired up, and calms you down, and makes you feel like there is so much good in the world, and really instills a postive mindset in you.
9. okay one more. if you research the benefits of cold, you will find they are limitless! it is one of those things, combined with being out in nature that is just inherently good for you.
I have add, I think it is somewhat adult onset. But I just found out something; it goes away when I am up close and personal with whatever it is I’m trying to pay attention to. But that isn’t fool proof either because I am also nervous around people. But they are just people, so I think that is something I get over. I think I owe it to myself to get over because people are just people and I see them everywhere so I better start getting used to that. I thought of that at the supermarket today when I felt myself trying to protect myself from their energies/ thinking about not wanting to interact with them too much. They are just people and their energy is not going to hurt me. I think that protection/fear definitely comes from hanging out with my parents too much, and trying not to absorb their negative energies. So anyways, professors, at Mount Royal especially, mostly are going to have great energies, so I don’t need to worry about it really, and I can just zone into what I am working on if I sit up at the front. But I guess more than that is that if i just get really close to and really feel whatever it is I am trying to pay attention to, I will really be able to understand and listen. I think that is the main thing with ADD, you need to constantly find points of connection, you need to be asking questions, for it all to really soak in. And you have to be very easy on yourself, because if you have ADD, you are helplessly going to miss things, so you have to accept that, forgive yourself, and just try to kindly resume back into whatever it is you were doing.
It also goes away when I limit the sensory factors that are swarming my brain. Like simply turning the volume down on the tv helped so much. Or what else…. not putting on background music when I do it. Turning off my stupid phone!
I think that’s a good note to leave this on, let’s turn off our phones for a couple hours and enjoy the bliss.
I hope you are having a wonderful and spunky start to your weekend. Spunky because lately I’ve been feeling like we shouldn’t play life so much by the rules, we should be able to say and feel and do what we want. In the most positive way possible. But not too positive. Because when you are liberated from the inside, that is you are selfish enough to chase after your passions without asking for permission or waiting for anybody else, I truly believe you in turn become the most selfless, available, and supportive person for those around you. I feel like that has been my breakthrough, that doing those things I love, have helped me become less selfish and more available for others when they need me.
And these passions don’t have to be anything major at all! For me, they are listening to audio books (Mary Poppins Comes Back, currently), yoga at least once a day and bedtime yoga on top of that usually, lately, and going for walks, and running. The rest is composed of visiting family (the double G’s), and my families friends( their adorable 4 year old), and my friends once every couple weeks, and talking to them once every couple days. The rest is up to intuition, or little housekeeping things in my life I find popping up. And then of course working, which I have been blessed to have the perfect amount this summer – only some weekends. I know this is hardly anything, but I am a very good saver and live at home, so it’s not so bad. I really have made sure to make my opinion about money a good one. Where I save what I can, and the necessities I buy, and I think I’m pretty happy with my spending habits of the past 5 years. I don’t spend a lot going out. I make sure if I do go out it is going to be something I value. I think the reason as well is I am so caught up in all my little passions that I don’t feel the need to spend money as much as I used to, and I really enjoy saving where I can, by cooking and packing my own food.
I’ve also come to the realization that we do NOT need other people to make us happy. I don’t care how selfish that sounds, it is the truth. Because we can make ourselves believe whatever we want. Because it is pretty much scientifically proven the brain is extremely elastic until we die. And that is FREEDOM.
The one woman lately who has been inspiring is my cousin. She is quite a bit older than me – 30 years in fact- putting her at about the same age as my mother. Her daughter is about the same age as me, and after having different friends all through primary and secondary school, we have rekindled the flame and learned that opposites make wonderful friends. She is the sinner while I am the saint. Although saints can be decieving, and for this I am grateful that I feel I don’t have to be on my best behaviour all of the time. Interestingly, my ex-boyfriend encouraged me to rekindle this relationship with her daughter. Colour, we will call her, is her mother. And colour is the most amazing and inspiring woman. Here’s why:
She always has something to say. She always thinks about what she is saying while she is talking, and it is always out of concern for other people around her, instead of saying something in spite of others or for her self-interest.
2. She doesn’t smile often, and somehow this puts people at ease. She has a genuine empathy for every soul she talks to, and it calms from a calm place that she wants to share with everyone, no matter how well she knows them. She is not trying to be someone, she is just her normal, chilled out self.
3. She is so easy to talk to. It’s because she doesn’t have too strong of an attachment to anyone or any topic. If you say something iffy, she will just move on to the next thing, or else nod along in a non-reactive way, which is somehow extremely comforting.
4. She is down to earth. This lady is just plain down to earth. She hardly ever thinks of herself, she is always concerned for those around her.
5. She puts up with her bullshit husband. Which, in my opinion, counts for a lot. She’s had to deal with some emotional abuse, and this probably has shaped her into a more empathetic person. She has learned patience, she had to or else she wouldn’t be able to still tolerate him. So I think because he is such a rude person, everyone else she has the pleasure of talking to is much better in comparison.
6. She lost her sister from a young age. Another occasion where she has had deep pain in her life. So she treasures interactions she gets with people because she knows how quickly people can disappear from our lives. Pain really does something to make you value those lives around you.
So so so. Today I woke up and felt a little unsettled because I had a dream about stabbing an intruder. And then I felt almost good about it, because I think it meant that I was clearing bad parts/habits of myself. And in the dream, I remember feeling very good about it, that it was such a good release and I was proud of myself immensely for doing so. It was such a tangible feeling of satisfaction. I know this all sounds crazy. But I really believe that it was my subconscious’ dramatic way of telling me that something bad was coming to an end. And it is a bit funny because today was a great day. I did some yoga, watched a bunch of youtube vlogs, went for roller blade, and saw the older man I met recently with his dog Morrie who told me to go read the book “Tuesdays with Morrie”. And I will admit, I got some help from the internet about the interpretation of my dream. But I do remember feeling and reading that how you feel in a dream is most important. It’s not really about what literally happened – as we all know we would be dead if we believed in what really happened was synonymous with our waking life; God the amount of times I’ve fallen from a building – it’s about how you feel and maybe also about what those literal things symbolize. I think we need to pay attention to how we feel in our dreams as much as we can, because they can lead us to the truth that can become so foggy in our day-to-day lives.
Gimme some honey 