This another form of self-love that can be so healthy for us women, and men. I think it’s more women that get called babe, but hey who says men can’t either, I’ve definitely heard that too. I started doing this about 3 years ago, and never stopped using it (on and off) since then. It is super helpful when I am going through a rough time, because it really makes the feeling of being there for myself tangible. It instills immediate calmness and self-compassion within me. It’s like a magic way of soothing myself. So here are some examples of when and how I use it:
Say I was having a really bad day, and I couldn’t even get myself up and do the dishes I knew needed being done. I would say, “It’s okay babe, you’ve been through a lot today, why don’t you rest an hour extra and try later”. In that moment, just giving myself more time because I was considering how hard it had been for myself that day.
Say I was late to a meeting. I would say, “Babe, don’t worry about it, You couldn’t sleep, and everyone has been late. You don’t need to be perfect every day”. In this case, I was acknowledging my lowered mental state and thus the reason I was late. It was something I couldn’t really control, and fighting to be on time would have done more damage to my already fragile, fatigued mind. It would have been too aggressive towards myself to force myself to be on time that day, and also recognizing that other people are late too helps. I’m no alien for being a little late! It happens. As long as you let them know, it’s really no big deal.
(side note- I fuck up a lot. So I have had lots of practice with this nickname for myself. I am highly sensitive so I have learned a ton about how to have patience when I mess up.)
Say I started crying for no reason. I would say, “hey Babe, you are doing great considering you are on you period. Look at all of the things you still did today ! That really is amazing considering the pain and hormonal turmoil you are in.” You don’t have to be on your period to cry, it could be the littlest thing set you off, or could be just that particular day and the way the cosmos are interacting with your emotional self. It could be one thing a person said that triggered something in your subconscious. Sometimes we just don’t know. Acknowledging that we are human is a big one, that yes actually, we are humans with emotions and it is healthy to express them.
We are only human, so maybe we don’t need no reason (listen to the song, perfect strangers ft. jonas blue after this, I’ll link at the end). I think to have self compassion, I know I was saying reasons, but at the end of the day it’s just plain hard to be a human. And sometimes it’s even super hard. So even if there is no particular reason things aren’t going well or you aren’t proud of yourself, it’s okay. You can say “hey babe, you are only human, you don’t need to have a reason”, or “hey babe, you don’t need to do anything, sometimes it’s enough just to be”. We go through so much as humans, especially once we get to adulthood and we have to deal with so much that we don’t need to have any concrete reason at all to love ourselves and to give ourselves a break. There, now you get it, I’m sure.
Gimme some honey 