Don’t try

So this has been more a recent, sudden realization for me. I learned about it from one of my friends favourite philosophers( forget his name). But this post will sum his most important findings up. It is about not trying. It’s basically the idea that wherever you go and whatever you do in life, you may think you have to try, but actually you don’t. Some exceptions include studying, exam writing, athletic endeavors. But even in these, we don’t have to try as much as we may think. If we accept that everything should be natural and come easily, it will. When we aren’t trying, we are relaxed and things just seem to flow, we know what to do next and we don’t overthink. How many times have you planned something to a tee so much, and then once you try to follow your plans none of them are followed-through, due to unforeseen circumstances are too many outside changing variables? For example, when I was a full time nanny, I would go to the enth degree to search up unique pinterest activities, only to try them with kids who turned out to hate these ideas and balk at them. Half the time they would completely dismiss these ideas! At first I was offended, but then I realized they were just so in the moment and had their own idea, or the day would take us on a different, equally amusing endeavor. As soon as I stopped trying to control our days and try so hard to come up with fun things for them, the days flowed seamlessly and actually ended up being MORE fun.

What I’m trying to say is that you don’t need to try, everything will come to you that day or in that moment. There will be unexpected opportunities, or someone will show up with a new attitude or idea and then away you go. You didn’t have to worry about anything in the first place. This happens so much more often than we think, but we may not be open to these changes that swoop in because we are so wrapped up in our minds or plans that we completely miss them altogether. A yoga teacher once said that she never has to think, because she is constantly showing up to the present moment. Try it. One day, see what happens when you are only responding to what it’s front of you at that moment, sentence by sentence of what the other person is saying. Object by object, step by step. You will see that there is nothing to think about, because when we are open to it, the universe is providing us with the information and resources we need moment by moment. If we live in the present moment, we don’t have to try.

Pretend you are getting ready for a birthday party. You are so worried about how you look, what you will say, if you got a good enough present, that you won’t know enough people, etc, etc. None of this has helped you, yet you have expended so much effort in order to think and do all of this. Now instead, pretend you spend the day fulfilling your desires, doing whatever suits you. You end up finding your friend the perfect gift because you visited on of your favourite stores. Now, you carry this effortless, blissful mindset into the birthday party. You are going to end up talking about the wonderful day you had, what you are passionate about, and you will find that some of the other people have similar interests to you as well! Because you are at ease and relaxed, you catch every joke that is made, and you are alert and able to respond amazingly to all that the people have said. You are really present and enjoying yourself because you are not caught up in your thoughts, wondering if you are doing well enough. You have the attitude of not trying really, and this makes things so much easier. The conversation will flow so naturally, and before you know it the party is over and you wish it could have gone on longer.